The 20 Funniest Goldman Sachs Elevator Gossips
An anonymous Goldman Sachs insider shares the hilarious conversations overheard in the GS elevator. Warning: reading this could induce some vicarious shame.
Employees of Goldman Sachs seem to have confidence in abundance, if we have to believe the tweets from @GSElevator. The tweets from this anonymous banker became a global phenomenon and close to 400.000 people are following his latest gossips. After reading these conversations (often monologues), you might understand why former executive director of Goldman Sachs, Greg Smith, decided to leave the company. But for now, let us enjoy the bluntness and overconfidence of these six figure earning brats.
#1: I would pay like $500k to watch the Kardashians play scrabble.
#1: Can we please stop calling them hipsters and go back to calling them pussies?
#1: The lottery is just a way of taxing poor people who don't know math.
#1: If I could choose between world peace and a reasonable fortune, my first Lambo would be orange.
#1: If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
#1: When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail.
#1: Almost time for children to learn a valuable life lesson. Santa loves rich kids more.
#1: [At the gym] What machine should I use to impress the girls?
#2: The ATM.
#1: Listening to Obama talk about the economy is like listening to a chick talk about football.
#1: A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherfucker.
#1: YOLO is poor for carpe diem.
#1: Fact. Nearly 50% of all American workers have less than $10k saved for retirement.
#2: Damn. That wouldn't cover a ski weekend.
#1: Getting laid off from Goldman is like being traded by the Yankees. You’ll probably still make millions, but it’s just not the same.
#1: Black Friday is the Special Olympics of capitalism.
#1: Money might not buy happiness, but I'll take my chances!
#1: Handshakes and tie knots. I don't have time for someone who can't master those basic skills.
#1: I never give money to homeless people. I can't reward failure in good conscience.
#1: Groupon... Food stamps for the middle class.
#1: If you can only be good at one thing, be good at lying... because if you're good at lying, you're good at everything.
#1: My garbage disposal eats better than 98% of the world.
Pretty bad, huh? If you do not want people like this managing your money, you could start investing yourself. Value investing is a strategy that has proven to be a low-risk, high-return strategy. Read a short introduction to value investing by clicking here.